by Neil Tarvin

This week my thoughts were spurred by an "emailer" who asked if I'd made my New Year's resolutions, and if I'd set any goals for this year. The man actually hit two of my hot buttons in one sentence!

I hate the words "resolutions" and "goals." They're intimidating. I don't know why - maybe when I was 5 years old I saw that big ball dropping from the sky in Times Square on New Year's eve and thought it was going to fall on my head. Who knows?

But, to me, "resolutions" means I have to give something up that I'm really attached to, and "goals" implies some lofty, totally unattainable desire that I should be striving toward. They just aren't positive, energizing words. To me. And, that's the crux of this week's commentary...

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"So, how's that workin' for ya?"

Here in the US we have a daytime TV phenomenon who's name is "Dr. Phil" - an Okie-bred, outspoken, shoot-from-the-hip, blunt, occasionally irritating, occasionally arrogant, psychologist. He can stop a guest dead in their tracks - like a deer caught in the headlights - with his Okie-drawl catch phrase "So, how's that workin' for ya?"

The funny thing is - it really does make you stop and think.

Let's look at my problem with those two words "resolutions" and "goals." Obviously, if I'm totally resistant to the words, I'm certainly not making any resolutions or setting any goals. I just dig in my heels and come to a screeching halt. And in my head, here comes Dr. Phil...

"So, how's that workin' for ya?"

It wasn't. Those are two pretty important concepts to just toss away. You can't just eliminate them from your life and expect to get anywhere. It's totally counterproductive. Now, if you've read any of my ebooks or articles, you know that I'm very big on "thinking outside the box" and finding alternatives. So why had it never occurred to me to find alternatives for "resolutions" and "goals"?

"If it's not working - change it."

My job was to find an alternative to those words. It was extremely easy to do - once I realized that's all it would take. It's true that sometimes we just can't see the forest for the trees. I'm sure that Dr. Phil would have preferred that I more deeply analyze why those words triggered immediate resistance, but I want solutions, not reasons!

What words, phrases, or concepts push your hot buttons? What are you resisting? What problems are you having? Just remember Dr. Phil and ask yourself - "So, how's that workin' for ya?" and if the answer is "It's not!" - think "alternatives." If you can't go through a barrier, you can often go around it.

Oh, yeah - curious about my alternative to "resolutions" and "goals"? My solution was "priorities"... and, yes, it's working well...

Till next time...

Neil

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